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When I said yes to adoption, I saw in the end that it is not always clear who is the one who gets adopted...

I spent this weekend with 1,400 adoptive and foster parents at the Refresh Conference. It was fun to be with of those crazy and happy people in one place. No kids allowed… One of my takeaways was: foster parenting and adopting are amazing ways to profoundly change a life. And in the middle of it all, we are all blessed. It’s a lesson I’ve learned in my own life, as well.

There is a great need for fostering and adoption, with kids all over the world in need of loving homes. But let me tell you that the one who fosters or adopts will never be the same.

It seems that the gifts that we receive will far outweigh the cost…

Adoption is living beyond the high-maintenance nature of our daily lives. It is seeing the world on a different playing field. This comes through welcoming a child and inviting their life to flourish through our nourishing love and restorative favor. Adopting is choosing to live for a greater good. It is so scary to take that step and seek to bless a child in need of adoption. I know - I have been there. I have waffled and fretted. My husband and I have walked away and jumped in head first.

When I said yes to adoption, I saw in the end that it is not always clear who is the one who gets adopted.

I would like to propose to you that we all do. When we adopt we think that we are doing something great for someone else. We believe that we are bettering the world and changing a life. And it’s true: that happens. But in addition to the one being adopted, everyone reaps so much benefit, too. 

We find the gritty, organic nature of ourselves as we reach out; we find out what we’re really made of. We sacrifice. We get our comfort zones pushed and stretched: We learn, we grow, we find to what extent can we share what we have. To what measure can we better a life and the world? You tell me...

When we give we also receive.

The joy of parenting a little one is almost unquenchable. Entering into foster parenting or adoption we may feel like we are doing such a great favor to the child, yet I have seen and experienced that the gifts we give come back multiplied time and again. I can say that I have great fulfillment because of it.

So, I ask others to ponder this: Is this mutually life-giving lifestyle possible for you? It is through sacrifice, faith, love, and hope unleashed – both given and received – that we truly live.

Me and two of my adoption heroes that I met at Refresh: MaryBeth Chapman and Emily Richards!!!

When I said yes to adoption, I saw in the end that it is not always clear who is the one who gets adopted...